2004-01-26 - 10:42 a.m.

Ok, I've become obsessed with poetry.com. But, they have so many restrictions that I feel I am doctoring my own work to fit their guidelines. I really don't like the idea of that... So, I'm going to share a few poems here. I think I started doing that once, but now I mean it! *cough cough* Really!! I mean it! I'm gonna do this!!! Ok, here goes nothing.

This poem was written after my evil boyfriend Adam broke up with me. We had our first fight, and it was something stupid (him acting like a 5 year old if I remember correctly). Well, we went to this party, and he wouldn't even speak to me, but he was talking to my friend Tina like crazy. She told me that she couldn't tell me what he said untill after he left. So, here I am, an overly-emotional 18 year old girl, wondering what the hell is up with my boyfriend, when he comes up to me and apologizes, and says everything is ok. So we have make-up sex in the back bedroom. Before I even have my clothes on, he's out the door. So I go running to Tina, yelling and crying for her to tell me what's up, and she tells me that Adam wants to break up with me but he doesn't know how, so as soon as he left, she was supposed to tell me that she caught him cheating (he didn't) so that I would break up with HIM. Needless to say, this was my first broken heart. Here goes:

Squinting back so many tears

It seemed to me that Love

Was something only dreamed of.

Then I saw his crystal blue eyes,

And thought I'd give love another try.

I fell for him and gave him everything.

It was like a real-life dream.

But when he left me naked on the floor,

And all I saw was the slamming door,

My eyes hit the ground,

And saw my heart shattered all around.

Now so much time has gone by,

I'm not sure I remember how to cry.

After all the pain I've been through,

My heart is still torn in two.

At night sometimes I look above,

And wonder if I'm even capable of love.

I've been through so much,

I still cling to human touch.

But what's the most frightening of all

Is to once again fall.

Maybe someday someone will mend my broken heart,

But I'm so afraid it will once again fall apart.

And letting anyone get that near

Just fills my soul with fear.

So I don't think I ever will.

Ps, feel free to drop me a line, I hate criticism, but as a writer, I've learned to deal with it!!

Pss, If anyone has a clue how I can make the poem appear in 4-lined stanza's (to make it easier to read) PLEASE drop me a line!! I've been messing with this stupid edit thing for almost an hour now, inserting paragraph breaks here, taking them out there, and this is the best I can get!!!!

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this way - that way